Photos: Rowan Shaw-Jones and Gabe Zinn

Our wedding took place in Poggi del Sasso, a hamlet in Northern Italy resting between the Maremma Hills and the Tyrrhenian Sea. We booked out Castello Vicarello and invited twenty of our friends to come stay with us for three days. We had no formal itinerary- just days of lounging by marble pools with spritzes dotted with late lunches and evening parties. On the official day, our friends gathered in the garden, and we had a ceremony during golden hour. We wrote and read words about love and friendship, listened to Aretha Franklin’s Amazing Grace, and all walked back together for aperitivo, a feast, and dancing until the sprinklers went off the next morning. After three days at Vicarello, we spent three nights in Rome gallivanting around and finished our trip with a weeklong stay on Filicudi, an island in the Aeolian Islands.

We chose Italy as the backdrop because, as we said in our vows "the connection and love of our people is deserving of opulence. Over the topness. Excess. Reverence. Irreverence. Because here, it is sweet and easy to be where you are. To devour life. To be embodied."

We met at a chili cook-off in the fall of 2018 in New Haven, CT, where we were both studying at Yale. I complimented Sana’s jeans, we exchanged numbers, and a month later, we ended up at a vodka/latke party flirting with abandon. The fire burned bright, and we fed it.

We became each other’s family, moved across the country together, set up our home, opened a medical practice, and built a community. Getting married was something that happened alongside those other deep reflections of our commitment to one another. So, no formal proposal. But there were jewels involved, of course.

Sana wore a vintage David Fielden dress from the 1990s. As soon as we walked into HI, the silk architecture caught our eyes. Its thick ivory silk, with almost a grosgrain-like quality, was the first "yes" to be carried off to the fitting room. It was a thing to behold both on and off the body. It was regal. It was a dress that honored the collarbone.

I wore a Danielle Frankel high-neck gown, Suzanne Rae Pave slides, and iridescent blue eyeshadow. I had alterations take off the majority of the back of my gown to give it a slightly sexier vibe, but I loved the sweeping, draped silk train. I wanted to look absolutely elegant.  

After dancing to Frank Ocean's Moon River for our first dance (swoon!), we changed into our second looks. Sana wore a white, sequined Valentino skirt and a Roberto Cavalli silk bustier with ostrich feather tassels. This was probably my favorite look acquired from HI. Both are forever wardrobe pieces. I wore a vintage blazer suit dress (also from HI) with citrine Asics because, by that point in the night, all I cared about was dancing...comfortably. 

“I can’t wait to see what she wears next” was echoing throughout the castle halls all weekend!

We gathered pieces during the year leading up, focusing on poolside glamor and a succession of white fits. Our favorites include The Pink Fendi “Toro” swimsuit, a Zimmerman dress with a structured bodice and tumbling flowers across the bodice, and lots of solid, structural white: A Jill Sander A-line dress and single-breasted vest, and a Kallmeyer dress with a neoprene bodice and poplin skirt. Favorite vintage pieces were Sana's Grandmother’s bags, including a 70s Bottega Veneta roller derby shoulder bag and a YSL tusk handbag. We live in Portland, Oregon, and sourced hats and pants from our favorite shops here, including Una and Shop Boswell. 

We share all of our clothes and have a pretty dialed method for maintaining a wardrobe-- I'm the buyer, Sana's the stylist. We've tapped into our individual strengths. 

We felt very welcomed and celebrated during our shopping experience, which is the best you can hope for. There was such care and attention helping us in and out of pieces, and genuine, shared excitement during the try-on phase. We were floored with the range of singular vintage pieces in pristine condition. It felt like we were admitted to a private museum collection.

As a queer couple with complicated families, we chose to make the occasion exactly what we wanted. We chose to honor and celebrate the chosen family that has supported and nurtured us through the years. We felt our wedding should really be an expression of our love for the folks who hold us steady. It was an unconventional approach, and honestly, we were surprised by the feelings that came up during the planning process. Weddings symbolize a lot in our culture-- family, money, old friendships, new friendships, etc. We wanted to figure out how to create a moment that felt authentically meaningful and also acknowledged the complexity of our lives. I think we did it right. We feel pretty good about it! 

I'll just say that somebody took my carefully curated, intentionally planned playlist off the queue to put on...Eminem....I lost my shit. But it got sorted quickly! 

But our biggest surprise was the infectious joy we experienced by seeing our friends so joy-filled. It was intoxicating. 

I strongly feel that accessories and other looks (looks outside of the big-moment dress) are worth splurging more on. You can get more use out of those pieces. You wear the dress for such a small slice of time.

Lying in the grass with our friends, barefoot, drinking whiskey, and watching for shooting stars. It was a summer of many shooting stars.

We all fell in love with a big white Maremma dog named Uva (Italian for Grape) that guarded the property at Vicarello. She slept under the cypress trees, keeping one eye open, watching over us every night. 

11. And finally - shout out your vendors!

Castello Vicarello is so beautiful, the hospitality so magical...we thought, at times, we were dreaming. So did our friends.

Venue, Planning, Catering, and Florals: @castello_di_vicarello

Photography: Rowan Shaw-Jones and Gabe Zinn

Hair/Makeup: ourselves :)

Music: Playlist created by us!