This is a fun, adult movie starring three of the hottest women alive, scored by THE John Williams, and has Jack Nicholson playing the perfect psycho. If that doesn't convince you to watch this movie, then yikes, but keep reading!

Cher, Susan Sarandon, and Michelle Pfeiffer are bff single ladies in a tiny, boring New England town, and unbeknownst to them, they are witches. They gather every Thursday night, and on this particular one, they craft the “perfect” man. He’s foreign, royal, and not too big but not too small. They get Daryl Van Horne, aka Jack Nicholson – that’s who you were picturing too, right?

To say “chaos ensues” is an immense understatement. Shit hits the FAN when Daryl Van Horne shows up. The witchery is full-blown, sexcapades are happening left and right, and you’ll never eat a cherry the same way again. I swear, you cannot predict the next scene.

This movie is wild! It’s like a kid's movie but very adult. I think my jaw actually hit the ground when Nicholson says, “I always like a little pussy after lunch.” 💀💀💀 He hams it up. I imagine he had a blast playing this part.

My favorite quote from the movie belongs to Daryl:

“I don't believe in [marriage]. Good for the man, lousy for the woman. She dies, she suffocates. I've seen it! And then the husband runs around complaining that he's fucking a dead person, and he's the one who killed her!”

Fashion and other notes:

-Michelle Pfeiffer eating Easy Cheese™ is something I thought I’d have to pay to see.

-We cannot have a Cher movie without seeing her midriff and thank god for that!

-Susan Sarandon goes from mousy music teacher to frizzy sexpot, and that’s just what a little attention from the devil will do to ya, I guess!

-This movie tries to make Michelle a frumpy desk job gal, but they do not succeed. I believe she is still the most beautiful woman ever.

-Cher is seen with pigtails and overalls because she’s a sculptor? 

-Susan’s tennis outfit is making me want to take up tennis.

Final Rating

I’m rating The Witches of Eastwick 77/100 cherry pits. 🍒

To read all of Kate’s wildly deep and complex reviews, follow @katecorcoran on Letterboxd!